Math, Missions, Malawi, and the Sovereignty and Mercy of God

To you, to you who come to God in prayer, the sovereignty always goes like this:"I will have mercy on that sinner, though [she] does not deserve it, though in [her] there is no merit; yet because I can do as I will with My own, I will bless [her], I will make [her] My child, and I will accept [her]. [She] will be Mine in the day when I make up My jewels." (Spurgeon)

God is merciful! And since He is merciful, I can be glad that He is in control of all things. I can rest in His sovereignty because of His mercy -- for in His mercy He rescued me by seeking me out. He bought me with the precious, priceless blood of Jesus. In His mercy He revealed to me and has proven again and again His wisdom and love and faithfulness and goodness. Knowing that He is indeed all of these things perfectly, I would want no other to be in control of everything.

How convicting it is, then, when I find that I'm not wholeheartedly trusting the One who is so worthy of all my trust! Through the last several months God has really challenged me in this area. Do I just believe in God? Or, do I actually believe Him when He tells me "Katie, I am working out all things for your good and for My glory"?

For the last several years there has been a burden in my heart to "declare God's glory among the nations." Since January I began to actively pursue different mission opportunities. By February I had applied for an internship with MTW to work with street children in Acapulco, Mexico. By March I was told that the ministry in Acapulco was undergoing a lot of transition and for this, my application would be sent to Peru. I waited and waited to learn that the mission in Peru didn't need an intern at that time. My application was then sent to Honduras. I actually flew out to Honduras in May to learn more about the mission there, but decided that there would be a better fit for me somewhere else, in God's timing.

I was getting so discouraged! I wanted to serve God in missions, but I felt that every opportunity for ministry had been closed. Instead of trusting God, I limited Him to the opportunities that had already fallen through. In May I graduated from SDSU with a B.A. in Mathematics. Once again, I questioned how God could ever use math on the mission field.

By the end of July I thought I should be applying for jobs here since it looked like I would be staying in San Diego. I love children, and thought I would enjoy tutoring math. Maybe I could do some sort of "math tutor evangelism." I hopped on Craigslist and searched "math" under "jobs." The first thing I came across was a job opportunity at a Christian academy in Malawi through African Bible Colleges. The academy was seeking a middle school math teacher for 7th, 8th, and 9th grades for the 2009-10 school year! After inquiring, I was encouraged to apply. I then found out that the people I had been in contact with are in the same denomination as I am (PCA), the curriculum that the school uses is the same math curriculum that I used from K-12, and the statewide recruiter lives just minutes away from me!

Things began moving at lightning speed. I watched in awe as God paved the way for me to serve Him in Malawi. And, I began to see how much trust I had lacked during these last few months especially. Every detail had been sovereignly orchestrated in ways greater than I could ever have imagined. In spite of my plans and my questioning and my lack of trust, He has provided me with an opportunity to declare His glory in Malawi.

My heart aches as I'm convicted of my own disbelief in a mighty God, but at the same time it is overflowing with joy in a merciful God who loves me and counts me righteous not on the basis of anything I have done but on the merits of Another Who never sinned-- Jesus, my Savior.

Lord willing I will depart from San Diego on August 15th to arrive in Lilongwe, Malawi on the 17th.

Please join me in praising Him for this opportunity He has provided! Plead with me that His glory would be made known to the Malawians and that the message of the gospel would penetrate many hearts! Pray that I would be able to build relationships with my students and their families that would lead to many discipling and witnessing opportunities for His glory.

"Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen."

Ephesians 3:20