Take My Life; Self-Examination and Surrender to Christ

Some really helpful, thought provoking questions that Nancy Leigh DeMoss poses in her book "Surrender." May they drive us to the Cross!

MY LIFE

Take my life, and let it be
consecrated, Lord, to Thee.

• Have I ever consciously acknowledged Christ's ownership of my life?

• Have I made a volitional, unconditional, lifetime surrender of my life to Christ?

• Am I seeking to live out that surrender on a daily basis?

• Are there any "compartments" of my life over which I am reserving the right to exercise control?

MY TIME

Take my moments and my days;
let them flow in ceaseless praise.

• Do I live with conscious realization that all my time belongs to God, or have I merely reserved a portion of my time for the "spiritual" category of my life?

• Am I living each day in the light of eternity?

• Am I purposeful and intentional in my use of time, seeking to invest the moments of my days in ways that will bring glory to God?

• Do I seek His direction as to how I should use my "free time"?

• Am I squandering time with meaningless, ueseless conversation or entertainment?

• Do I set apart time each day for worship, prayer, and personal devotion?

• Do I readily respond to opportunities to serve others, even if it requires sacrificing "my" time?

• Do I become resentful or impatient when others interrupt my schedule or when I am faced with unplanned demands on my time?

• Do I view my job as an opportunity to serve Christ and bring glory to God?

• Have I considered any possible vocational change the Lord may want me to make to devote more time to the advancement of His kingdom?

MY BODY

Take my hands, and let them move
at the impulse of Thy love.
Take my feet, and let them be
swift and beautiful for Thee.

• Am I yielding the members (parts) of my body to God as instruments of righteousness (Romans 6:13)?

• Do I use the members of my body to express the kindness and love of Christ to others (e.g., using my hands for serving, for gentle touch)?

• Are any of the members of my body--eyes, ears, hands, feet, mouth, etc.--being used to sin against God (e.g., stealing, lying, listening to or repeating gossip, inflicting physical harm on mate or children, listening to profanity, viewing pornography, sexual sin)?

• Do I treat my body as if it is the temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19)?

• Am I abusing my body in any way (e.g., with food, alcohol, illegal or prescription drugs)?

• Am I willing to be physically spent in serving God and others?

• Have I relinquished the right to have a healthy body? Would I accept and embrace physical illness if that would bring glory to God?

• Am I submissive to God in relation to what (and how much) I eat and drink, and how much and when I sleep?

• Am I morally pure--what I see, what I think, what I do, where I go, what I listen to, what I say?

MY TONGUE

Take my lips, and let them be
filled with messages from Thee.

• Do the words that come out of my mouth reveal that my lips and tongue are fully surrendered to God?

• Do I habitually verbalize the goodness and greatness of God?

• Do I regularly ask the Lord to guard my tongue?

• Before I speak, do I ask the Lord what He wants me to say?

• Am I filling my mind and heart with the Word of God, so that what comes out of my mouth will be "messages from Him"?

• Do I speak words that are critical, unkind, untrue, self-centered, rude, profane, or unnecessary?

• Do I look for and take advantage of opportunities to give a verbal witness for Christ?

• Do I intentionally use my tongue to edify and encourage others in their walk with God?

MY POSSESSIONS

Take my silver and my gold;
not a mite would I withhold.

• Do I treat any of my possessions as if they were mine rather than God's?

• Do I give generously sacrificially, and gladly to the Lord's work and to others in need?

• Do I own anything that I would not be willing to part with if God were to take it from me or ask me to give it to another?

• Am I a wise steward of the material resources God has entrusted to me?

• Do I view God as my provider and the source of all my material possessions?

• Am I content with the material resources God has given me? If God should choose not to give me one thing more than what I already have, would I be satisified with His provision?

• Do I give my tithes and offerings to the Lord before I pay my bills or spend my income?

• Do I become angry or upset if others are careless with "my" possessions?

MY MIND

Take my intellect, and use
every power as Thou shalt choose.

• Am I "bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ" (2 Corinthians 10:5)?

• Am I disciplining my mind to get to know God and His Word better?

• Am I wasting my mind on worldly knowledge or pursuits that do not have eternal, spiritual value?

• Do I habitually think about things that are just, pure, lovely, of good report, virtuous, and praiseworthy (Philippians 4:8), rather than things that are unwholesome, negative, impure, or vain?

• Am I guarding the entrance of my mind from impure influences (e.g., books, magazines, movies, music, conversations)?

• Am I devoting my mental capacity to serving Christ and furthering His kingdom?

MY WILL

Take my will and make it Thine;
it shall be no longer mine.

• Do I consistently seek to know and to do the will of God in the practical, daily matters of life?

• When I read the Word of God (or hear it proclaimed), am I quick to say, "Yes, Lord" and to do what it says?

• Is there anything God has shown me to be His will that I have been neglecting or refusing to obey?

• Is there anything I know God wants me to do that I have not done/am not doing?

• Do I become resentful when things don't go my way? Do I have to have the last word in disagreements?

• Am I stubborn? Demanding? Controlling?

• Am I quick to respond in confession and repentance when the Holy Spirit convicts me of sin?

• Am I submissive to the human authorities God has placed over me (e.g., civil, church, home, work)?

MY AFFECTIONS

Take my heart; it is Thine own;
it shall be Thy royal throne.

• Am I moody? Temperamental? Hard to please?

• Do I love Christ and His kingdom more than this earth and its pleasures? Is there anything or anyone that I am more devoted to than Christ?

• Am I allowing Christ to reign and rule over my affections, my emotions, and my responses?

• Are my desires, appetites, and longings under Christ's control?

• Am I in bondage to any earthly, fleshly, or sinful desires or appetites? Am I indulging or making provision for my fleshly desires (Romans 13:14)?

• Do I trust God's right to rule over the circumstances of my life?

MY RELATIONSHIPS

Take my love; my Lord,
I pour at Thy feet its treasure store.

• Is it my desire and intent to love God with all my heart, above all earthly relationships? Do I enjoy and seek out the friendship of God as much as I do human friendships?

• Do I love God more than I love myself? Do I seek His interests, His reputation, and His pleasure above my own?

• Have I surrendered to God all my desires, rights, and expectations regarding my family?

• Am I willing to let God decide whether I am to be married and to whom?

• Have I surrendered the right to have a loving, godly mate?

• Am I willing to love my mate in a Christlike way, regardless of whether or not that love is reciprocated?

• Have I accepted God's decision to grant or withhold the blessing of children?

• Have I released my children to the Lord? Am I trying to control their lives? Am I willing for Him to call them and use them in His service--anywhere, in any way, regardless of the cost?

• Is there anyone that I "love" in a way that is not pure? Am I holding on to any friendships or relationships that God wants me to relinquish?

• Am I willing to sacrifice friendships, if necessary, in order to obey God and His call in my life?

• Am I willing to speak the truth in love to others about their spiritual condition, even if it means risking the loss of the relationship or my reputation?

MYSELF

Take myself, and I will be
ever, only, all for Thee.

• Have I surrendered all that I am and all that I have to God?

• Is there any part of myself--my plans, relationships, possessions, emotions, career, future--that I am knowingly holding back from God?

• Have I settled the issue that the ultimate purpose of my life is to please God and bring Him glory?

• Is it the intent of my heart, by His grace, to live the rest of my life wholly for Him and for His pleasure, rather than for myself and my pleasure?

Bible Memory Club Praise!

I have stored up your word in my heart,
that I might not sin against you.
Psalm 119:11

For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.
Hebrews 4:12

Last week I was really blessed to see God working in the heart of one of my 6th grade students in particular. I noticed that she hadn't been acting herself recently, so after class I pulled her aside and asked her what was going on.
"Miss Dinwiddie, I'm just really confused with my relationship with God."
We were both in a bit of a hurry because the next class period was just about to begin, but she said she would go out with me later that afternoon to tell me some more.
We had a really nice conversation. She told me she just wasn't content with where she was at in her walk, and that she wanted to know God so much more. It was such a blessing for me to be able to get a glance of the desires of a soft, precious, little heart being conformed to God's will.
Pastor Tallman always talks about being Bible-saturated, and for a while, I've been thinking a good way to really become saturated is to hide God's Word in my heart.
By the end of our time, we had decided that together we were going to start memorizing God's Word. I have always wanted to memorize Romans and when I told her that, she became very excited. So that's what we set out to do -- saturate ourselves with more of God's Word.

After school the following day, she came up to my classroom to come see me. We started talking about Romans. One of my 7th graders happened to be up there for math help, and she got really excited! She said she wanted to memorize Romans, too. By the next morning a few other girls had come up to me and asked if they could join us. So now there is a group of about six of us memorizing God's Word together! And I'm really excited.

Please pray for us as we hide God's Word in our hearts that much will happen -- meditation, conviction, encouragement, a greater understanding of our need for the Gospel and a deeper love for Jesus!

Humbling Blessings

I'm glad God is unimaginably more faithful to me than I have ever been with this blog. ;)

It was decided that this year the academy would actually have a mid-term break or "holiday" and it would fall into this past week since we would have Friday (Malawi Mother's Day) off anyway. In one way, Mother's Day is a bigger deal here in Lilongwe than it is in the States. It is actually observed as a public holiday -- no school, and nearly everything is closed! In another way, since I left my amazing mom halfway across the world, it hardly feels right to be observing it without her! (Ndimakukonda kwambiri, Amayi!)

I have been so grateful for these last several days as they have provided for me a time of ample rest and reflection upon all that has happened since I returned to Malawi nearly two months ago.

This year my homeroom class, the 7th graders, consists of all girls! We kicked off the year with a sleepover at my house. We found ourselves enjoying some crazy bonding time with each other as well as some outlandish decibel levels as one can most definitely imagine with a group of ten middle school girls on a full tank of sugar.

My favorite part about teaching has definitely been the joy in forming relationships with the students and being able to share Christ's love with them day-to-day. Each morning during Homeroom Period, I have the privilege of praying with and for them and sharing from God's Word. Sometimes I get so discouraged by their apathy because I know if they would be doing anything else (besides math) they wouldn't lack so much attentiveness. A few weeks ago I had decided to take my girls through some of Amy Carmichael's "If" statements. What a blessing these have been as God has used them to produce some responsiveness and bring up some great discussions about the extent of our own selfishness and sinful desires contrasted with the perfections and righteousness as shown through the perfect work of Christ -- how we need him!
As my eyes were skimming through several of the "If" statements one day, I was quite convicted and humbled by the following:
"If I have not the patience of my Saviour with souls who grow slowly; if I know little of travail (a sharp and painful thing) till Christ be fully formed in them, then I know nothing of Calvary love."
Not only has He been patient with my own slow-growing soul, but He has caused it to grow at all. I guess that leaves me with no excuse not to be patient with the souls around me.
Humbling.

We've been blessed to be able to continue our outreach to the children in the village on Saturdays! A few weeks ago I read to them the humbling account of when Jesus washed the disciples' feet -- an amazing demonstration of his humility, and a beautiful preview of him bearing all our uncleanness on the Cross. I wanted to reinforce the concept and I had remembered my mom washing the feet of my Sunday School class years ago. . . If I still remember, then it seems like a good idea! So Khuzwayo and Chisomo (two of the African Bible College students), Whitney (housemate) and I did just this. We washed all of the feet of the kids in the village and encouraged them to wash the feet of their parents. I'll be honest -- it was one of those really humbling moments for me. Village mud and calloused feet don't faze me. But the thing was, the kids were pushing each other and shoving, fighting over who got to be next. In other words, there were no Peter-type characters in this story. We were having the opposite thing going. "Well, that was one fruitful lesson," I sarcastically think to myself. "I can tell they really understand Christ's demonstration of humility." Yet in the midst of this experience God was teaching me how much more I need to be washed. . . I learned so much of Jesus' humility through the lack of my own . And then I remembered that Jesus even washed the feet of Judas. This was getting pretty intense. I always find it a little bit irritating how as a teacher it seems like I learn so much more than the students in the process of trying to help them learn. But it's one of those humbling blessings.

Another blessing . . . hosting a Monday night small group at our house! The group consists of about twelve members from one of the local churches pastored by an ABC graduate. A couple weeks ago we were talking about how we as the body of Christ can come alongside those who are struggling with various things. Then one of the women broke down and told us that her sister was dying of stage-3 cancer, and she was understandably having a very hard time with it. We decided, as a group, to go visit the sister in the hospital and pray with her. By this time, I should have known that whenever I think I'm going to "bless" someone God quickly humbles me.

Well, I had never been to the city hospital in Lilongwe. . . I honestly thought I was going to vomit when I walked inside. I guess I'm used to hospitals trying to make things comfortable for those who are suffering physically. The bad smell wasn't like the "bad smell" of chemicals in a hospital in the States. . . I'm not sure I want to know what it was. The dirty mattresses didn't have sheets, and there were so many flies. And our friend's sister was laying there, dying, in conditions like this. I didn't even feel like laying in my own comfortable bed that night. I find myself silently praying again and again, "God, do something for her!" I don't know where she is at spiritually. . . who does except for God. . . but oh, if I knew she were one of His little lambs I would have wanted Him to have just relieved her from all of it right then and there.
And I couldn't take it any longer. Here I was going to "bless" this suffering woman and I end up standing by her bed sobbing uncontrollably while her family assures me not to worry. Humbling. Shandell, small group attendee, reminds me "He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning nor crying nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away." And I long for the salvation of souls. And I just long for Jesus. And I try to remember that He is even more broken over all of this stuff than I am.

So, I guess the common theme through pretty much everything I've written can be thought of as the following:
Katie: Lord, I want to serve you.
God: Katie, I'm going to humble you first.
Katie: Lord, I really want to serve you!
God: Katie, you really need to be humbled.
Katie: Lord, I really, really want to serve you!
God: Katie you really, really need to be humbled.
Katie: Lord, then I need a lot of grace!
God: Yes, Katie, but you have all the grace you need. My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in all your weaknesses.

"Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses so that the power of Christ may rest upon me." 2 Corinthians 12:9



On a lighter note, the chop-chop didn't attack me last night! :)

I kind of feel bad for killing it though.

Of a Promise and Pilgrimage

"And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose."
Romans 8:28

I'm here, praise God! And it was quite the adventure!

I flew into Lilongwe on Wednesday -- 22 hours later than I had planned. My luggage had been incorrectly labeled for pick-up in Johannesburg, South Africa, requiring me to go through Customs and then re-check everything again. But unfortunately, my flight from London to Johannesburg was delayed for a couple of hours and I had less than one hour to make it through the long, slow lines. After getting my passport stamped and racing through the baggage claim, I located my luggage and bribed a porter to help me rush to the check-in counter as soon as possible with my 66 kg. Unfortunately by the time we got there, the gate had already closed which meant I had not only missed the 10 AM flight but I'd just been separated from my traveling buddies!

I made my way to the British Airways office with my overstuffed backpack, computer bag, and three pieces of luggage. Because of the delay, they were able to change my ticket. . . but the problem was that there wasn't another flight from Johannesburg leaving for Lilongwe that day.
"We can put you up in a hotel until 1 AM this morning. . . then we'll put you on Kenya Airways to fly you from here to Kenya, and from Kenya to Malawi. You should arrive there by tomorrow morning. We do apologize for the delay, but this is all we can do for you, Ma'am."

I envisioned myself walking outside the South Africa airport loading all of my luggage onto a hotel shuttle and then unloading it off the shuttle, into the hotel and then out of the hotel, back onto the shuttle and off the shuttle, into the baggage check-in area. . .close to 1 in the morning? I decided to just wait the 15 hours at the airport. It sounded easier and safer.

And so I waited. . . and waited. . . and prayed. . . .and prayed.

First, I prayed for faith and trust. . . I was coming down with a nasty cold, and my energy level was so drained! I prayed that God would give me more energy and health, just enough for the 12 hours until check-in time so I wouldn't fall asleep alone with my luggage in the Johannesburg airport. And I prayed that everything would just go smoothly this time. . . that I'd make all connecting flights, that I wouldn't get lost in the Kenya airport, that He would enable a way for me to communicate with the people who were supposed to pick me up. . . I prayed for wisdom and safety and protection. . . I even prayed that God would provide someone soon -- someone that I could trust to watch my stuff for just a few minutes while I ran to the restroom! And all of a sudden I realized in a deeper way how much God really cares about me -- even all the small things that kept flowing from my heart that in the grand scheme of things are so teeny and insignificant. And this caused me to plead that He would display His glorious sufficiency through my own insufficiency and dependence!

And I thought on the sweet, sweet promise of Romans 8:28:
"And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose."

All. Things. Yes, ALL things! The cold, the luggage labeling snafu, the delayed flight, my exhaustion, an extra flight to Kenya! I didn't understand why. . . it made no sense to me! I was just trying to get back to Malawi to serve Him by loving on those kiddies at ABC Christian Academy. But there was something so comforting that almost made that 15 hour wait and extra trip to Kenya really enjoyable. . . because even though I still don't understand why it all happened, I had a lot of time to meditate on the fact that God was working all of it together for good. And especially when you feel so little and helpless, it releases huge burdens to be reminded that Someone so Great and All-sufficient is working all things for my good and His glory.

Nobody had any clue that I was in Kenya, but I was able to use my Malawi cell to contact a friend for an airport pick-up once I had landed in Lilongwe!

When I arrived to Lilongwe I had to pass through Customs once more.
Man at passport check: Passport, please.
Me, as I hand him my passport: I made it to Lilongwe!! I'm finally here!
Man at passport check: Welcome back to Malawi, Sista!
Me: Thanks! Wait, I mean. . . Zikomo!!

------------
Please pray for Moana, a girl I met on the plane and had an opportunity to share the gospel with.
Please pray for extra strength for all of the staff as we are getting everything ready for school to start this upcoming Tuesday.
Please pray that God would already be working in the hearts of each student.
Please pray that I would have wisdom regarding how many activities I should take on this year.
Please pray that we as a staff would keep our eyes fixed upon Jesus and seek to find all of our satisfaction in Him alone!

Let Worship Be the Fuel for Mission's Flame

You should be the praise of every tongue, Jesus.
You should be the joy of every heart!



"Missions is not the ultimate goal of the church. Worship is. Missions exists because worship doesn't . . . Missions begins and ends in worship."
John Piper, “Let the Nations Be Glad”

Thankful for. . . A LOT!

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Blessed to be back in the States for a summer reunion with the family!

I cannot lie. I genuinely thought God had grown me in patience through a year of teaching math to a bunch of children, through a year of waiting to see changed hearts, through a year of waiting for so many questions to be answered. Really, I thought I had more patience. . . until the trip home! Patience, Katie, patience. :) Flight cancellations, finally five flights, and delays, and layovers, and Customs, missing luggage. . . and NO sleep! But, my family loved the sleepwalking, fine mess that walked off the plane 50-something hours later anyway. And I think then I understood unconditional love a little better. Yes, they claimed me, staggering down the airport escalator with bloodshot eyes, a dazed look -- even with gazillion and three African braids.

The Lost African Girl? No way! I am so found! As broken and stained as I am, Christ claims me: "This one is Mine. I, Who knew no sin, became sin so that in Me you might become the righteousness of God." And so gladly and desperately and with a grateful heart I plead for His promised grace as I hide myself in the cleft of this Treasure, this Rock. I trade my ashes for beauty. . . His beauty. And I smile and cry as He wraps me in His righteousness.

Honestly, I'm overwhelmed.
Overwhelmed because God has given me so much.
And my mind is still trying to process it all. I hope it does the rest of my life.
And as it does so, I'm spilling gratitude and praying that He would give me the grace to be faithful with all He has entrusted to me.

As I reflect on these past several months in Malawi, these are just some things I'm so thankful for right now:

#1 Jesus, my Savior: His life, His death, His resurrection, His love, His power, His righteousness
#2 My Bibles: the living and active Word of God in my language that comforts, convicts, strengthens, rebukes, guides, and encourages me
#3 The Holy Spirit, my Helper
#4 My Education: the ability to be able to read the Word of God
#5 Mom and Dad: the first people that told me about my serious plight . . . and then introduced me to Jesus
#6 Prayer: the opportunity to pour out my soul before my Creator with the assurance that I'm always being heard
#7 My Church: a close-knit family in Christ, fellowship, accountability, sound teaching and preaching
#8 Communion: the opportunity to commune with Him, to intentionally remember the Cross, and proclaim His death and resurrection until He comes again
#9 God's sufficient grace: favor towards me that I could never earn but that has proved itself over and over again a thousand times through
#10 Books and a plethora of Christian resources in my language: resources to learn from and be encouraged by others who are persevering in the faith!
#11 Airplanes: transportation that allows me to see the global church
#12 God's power: the kind that is made perfect in my many weaknesses
#13 Good health and a strong body: the ability to have lots of energy around my kids. . .energy to tell them the greatness of a glorious God
#14 My students: they help me see Jesus as more precious as I try to explain to them the Treasure He is
#15 The babes at the Crisis Nursery: they remind me of my dependency upon Jesus in all things
#16 My three sisters and two brothers: the kind that I can call "friends", too!
#17 Brothers and sisters: my family in Christ!
#18 Opportunities to be used as God's tool in the midst of a hurting world, opportunities to share Him with others
#19 God's impeccable timing: the way He does everything for both His glory and my good, even when it means "wait"
#20 Music: another way to praise and give God the glory due to His name
#21 Freedom: the privilege to talk about the greatness of God and the beautiful gospel message, especially at ABCCA
#22 God's pursuit of me: His intense desire for me!
#23 Hope: eager anticipation and trust -- the kind that carries me through when it's placed in an amazing God who is fully capable of doing exactly what He promises
#24 God's beautiful creation: declarations of His glory
#25 God's patience: the kind exercised as I stumble along and grow -- sometimes so slowly
#26 God's perfect peace: inner calmness and surety in the midst of a storm
#27 The village: a reminder to me that Jesus is EVERYTHING I need
#28 Rest: when all my burdens are taken straight to Jesus
#29 Forgiveness: Jesus' healing and cleansing of all my unrighteousness
#30 Confidence: the kind that is unshakable because it is rooted in the LORD
#31 The sufficiency of Christ: in Him I lack no good thing!

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.
James 1:17

Mulungu Angathe (God is able)

"For nothing will be impossible with God." Luke 1:37



There's a Chichewa song that the African Bible College students sing entitled "Ulemerelo wanu/Angathe" which means "Your Glory/He is able."

I loved it the first time I heard it. . . The harmonies are gorgeous (and the Africans do amazing things with them!), but even more than that, I love the words. They are so simple, yet so big and so comforting to me. I didn't know until recently how the song was translated into English, except for the one part that is actually sung in English at the end: "Our God can do any thing, any time, any way; God can do anything, He never fails."

I think the times it brings me the most comfort are when I've relied on my own strength and then, not surprisingly, feel like everything is impossible. Sometimes at night when my head is on the pillow these words will serve as a lullaby and will sing me to sleep, "My God can do any thing, any time, any way. . . my God can do anything. . . He never fails."

I've known them since I was a child. But, like a child, I need to remind myself more often than I even think to.

God can do anything.

My God can make me see my sin and hate it even more. My God can forgive. My God can keep changing my heart so it becomes more and more like His. My God can keep softening it, molding it, transforming its desires. My God can turn my eyes from worthless things and put them back on Jesus, where they need to be.

My God can change the hearts of my kids and grow them in Him.

My God can save a whole village. My God can save all of Africa. My God can save anybody He chooses.

My God can use a broken vessel to shine His glory in a broken world.

My God can.

I've been thinking about this a lot lately, especially as I think about getting ready to return to the States for the summer. How much He has taught me about my own heart! And how much of a burden He has placed upon my heart for these kids at the school, many of whom I may not ever see again as they will be moving to other countries and attending different international schools. He's placed a burden on my heart for the people in the villages. He's placed a burden on my heart for the world. Sometimes, especially working with children, the fruit just isn't very evident. But God promises me that in the Lord, my labor is never in vain. (I Corinthians 15:58). He can do anything, and His glory will be made known.

Last night my housemate and I had six of the cleaners from the school over for dinner. We were all sitting around the table when a couple of the women started singing praise songs. . . and then they all started singing. . . and one got off her chair and started dancing! And then before I knew it, we were all off our chairs singing and dancing (as much as I could, anyway)! She asked if we knew any Chichewa songs.

"Do you know 'Ulemerelo'?", I ask.

And they sing it beautifully.

I didn't want them to stop. Ever.

I have no reason to ever stop reminding myself that God CAN do anything.

Mulungu angathe. (God is able)

God is able. He is able. He is able. He will not fail.
Mulungu angathe, angathe, angathe; Mulungu angathe salephera.

God can do any thing, any time, any way; God can do anything, He never fails.

Meet (some of) my 8th grade girls!

We all have different stories. . . but we all are in desperate need of a Savior!


(from left to right: Kaitlin, Yodit, Shannon, Catarina)

KAITLIN (14 yrs)
Where are you from? I am from Nebraska, but I was born in Iowa. I've been in Malawi since 3rd grade (2004). My dad is a missionary doctor at an AIDS clinic here. We are with a mission called SIM. My mom is a counselor.
What do you like to do? I love to swim! I could live in a pool! My favorite subject is math. I love math!
What is your favorite Bible verse? Jeremiah 29:11 because it tells me how God knows everything that's going to happen to me! He loves me that much!
How can I pray for you? You can pray that I would pursue God and draw closer to Him everyday.

YODIT (14 yrs)
Where are you from? I'm from Ethiopia, but I've been in Malawi for six years.
I live in Lilongwe because my dad got a job here.
What do you like to do? I love to hang out with my friends.
What is your favorite Bible verse? My favorite Bible verse is John 3:16 because it makes me feel important.
How can I pray for you? I'm going to Ethiopia during the summer. My family is moving. Pray that the move wouldn't be so hard.

SHANNON (14 yrs)
Where are you from? I'm from Zimbabwe and Malawi. I've been in Malawi for 2 years. I moved away from Zimbabwe because it was corrupt.
What do you like to do? I like to hang out with friends, and I like sports.
What is your favorite Bible verse? I like Proverbs 15:3 because it makes me feel safe wherever I am.
How can I pray for you? Pray that my friends and I won't grow apart and that I'll go back to Zimbabwe one day.

CATARINA (14 yrs)
Where are you from? I'm from Portugal, but I was born in Malawi. I have been in Malawi for 14 years. My dad got a job in Malawi, so that's why I'm living here.
What do you like to do? For fun I like to hang out with friends and go to parties. My favorite subject is recess.
What is your favorite Bible verse? My favorite Bible verse is Proverbs 14:26, because it gives me encouragement to go through life, even in hard times.
How can I pray for you? Pray that I do well at my new school if I have to move.



- - - - -
Please continue to pray for my students and for each one's relationship with the Lord!

Himself

I was listening to a sermon in which this song was quoted. . . and I loved it. Such a seemingly accurate and beautiful picture of how when we grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ our desires shift from wanting the blessings and gifts of Christ to intensely desiring the precious Christ Himself -- and then having the confidence that, indeed, He is our own!


HIMSELF
by A. B. Simpson

Once it was the blessing, Now it is the Lord;
Once it was the feeling, Now it is His Word.
Once His gifts I wanted, Now the Giver own;
Once I sought for healing, Now Himself alone.

All in all forever
Only Christ I'll sing
Everything is in Christ
And Christ is everything

Once 'twas painful trying, Now 'tis perfect trust;
Once a half salvation, Now the uttermost.
Once 'twas ceaseless holding, Now He holds me fast;
Once 'twas constant drifting, Now my anchor's cast.

Once 'twas busy planning, Now 'tis trustful prayer;
Once 'twas anxious caring, Now He has the care.
Once 'twas what I wanted, Now what Jesus says;
Once 'twas constant asking, Now 'tis ceaseless praise.

Once it was my working, His it hence shall be;
Once I tried to use Him, Now He uses me.
Once the power I wanted, Now the Mighty One;
Once for self I labored, Now for Him alone.

Once I hoped in Jesus, Now I know He's mine;
Once my lamps were dying, Now they brightly shine.
Once for death I waited, Now His coming hail;
And my hopes are anchored, Safe within the veil.


"I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine " Song of Solomon 6:3

Happy Birthday, Daddy!!!

Thank you for demonstrating my heavenly Father's love and wisdom to me in so many ways! I miss you and love you, Daddy! I wish I could be there to celebrate with you, but know that I've been thinking about you and thanking God for you throughout this special day! I hope you have a very, very happy and blessed birthday! My 8th grade class wanted to wish you a very happy birthday, too!



I thank my God in all my remembrance of you. . .
Philippians 1:3a

Point Them to Christ

We just completed the first week of the last school term!

The kids and I are continually praying for perseverance and endurance as we trek through these final weeks. I would also really appreciate prayer as some parent-teacher conferences are scheduled for next week.

I keep praying, in addition to their understanding the math, that my students would see Christ. I was gratefully reminded by a Paul Washer message that our knowledge and love for Him explains Him with a glory that the superficial does not understand. May we know Him and love Him more so that we may find all our satisfaction in Him. . . but, also, that others know Him and love Him, too, and He gets all the glory!

"Point men to Christ. If you're a missionary, if you're a member of [a] church, if you're witnessing to people in your factory or in your business or in your schools, point them to Christ, to Christ, to Christ! Magnify Christ! That is one of the reasons why you should know Him deeply -- so you can love Him deeply -- and in knowing and loving Him deeply you can explain Him to others with a glory that the superficial does not understand."

For to this end we toil and strive, because we have our hope set on the living God, who is the Savior of all people, especially of those who believe.
I Timothy 4:10

I Need to Be So Utterly God's

I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.
Romans 12:1

I found this during the weekend and was very humbled and convicted. May He give us the courage and grace to surrender every facet of our lives to Him!

Helen Roseveare, a missionary doctor to the Congo for twenty years, writes:

"To be a living sacrifice will involve all of my time. God wants me to live every minute for Him in accordance with His will and purpose. . . No time can be considered as my own, or as 'off-duty' or 'free.' . . .
To be a living sacrifice will involve all of my possessions. . . All should be available to God for the furtherance of His Kingdom. My money is His. . . He has the right to direct the spending of each penny. . . I must consider that I own nothing. All is God's, and what I have, I have on trust from Him, to be used as He wishes.
To be a living sacrifice will involve all of myself. My will and my emotions, my health and vitality, my thinking and activities all are to be available to God, to be employed as He chooses, to reveal Himself to others. Should He see that someone would be helped to know Him through my being ill, I accept ill health and weakness. I have no right to demand what we call good health. . . All rights are His -- to direct my living so that He can most clearly reveal Himself through me.
God has the right, then, to choose my job, and where I work, to choose my companions, and my friends. . .
To be a living sacrifice will involve all my love. . . I relinquish the right to choose whom I will love and how, giving the Lord the right to choose for me. . . Whether I have a life partner or not is wholly His to decide, and I accept gladly His best will for my life. I must bring all the areas of my affections to the Lord for His control, for here, above all else, I need to sacrifice my right to choose for myself. . .
I need to be so utterly God's that He can use me or hide me, as He chooses, as an arrow in His hand or in His quiver. I will ask no questions: I relinquish all rights to Him who desires my supreme good. He knows best. "

Hungry to Grow

Like newborn infants, long for the pure spiritual milk, that by it you may grow up to salvation -- if indeed you have tasted that the Lord is good.
I Peter 2:2-3

School is out for two weeks for Easter Break!

Last week we were given extended homeroom periods to help the students understand why we celebrate Easter. I really enjoyed spending time contemplating and discussing the significance of the gospel with them. They asked such great questions!

Easter gets more meaningful every year as Christ just keeps getting more and more beautiful. But, then again. . .is Christ really getting more beautiful? He has always been that beautiful, and will always be that beautiful -- the type of beautiful that I can't really wrap my mind around. He has always perfectly been about the Father's will, perfectly radiated His glory, perfectly shown unfathomable love to poor, broken, miserable, undeserving sinners. . .
So, it must be my marred understanding of him that is changing as God, in His mercy, grows me and opens my eyes to behold more and more of Jesus. And the more I see, the more I want and need this beautiful Jesus! And the more I want and see my need to grow!

I was really reminded of growth today.

It had been a while since I'd spent time at the Crisis Nursery. I have been thinking of Teresa a lot lately. She was the first baby I held there -- and I will never forget her. She was so tiny, and her eyes so full of fear. It broke my heart. Today I was excited to see the babies. . . but especially little Teresa!


When I walked inside, I didn't see her in the main play area. So, I ran to the room where she usually sleeps. I still didn't see her! I panicked, and ran up to one of the workers, asking if Teresa was still there! She laughed, and said, "Yes, she's in the big room."

I went back to the main play area, and I couldn't believe it! I had definitely seen her earlier, but I had not recognized her because she had grown so much!

And though this is physical growth, it was a beautiful picture of God's mercy and grace in growing his children spiritually. So I praised Him for little Teresa's physical growth and prayed for her spiritual growth! And then prayed that He would grow me more and more in the grace and knowledge of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ! To him be the glory both now and to the day of eternity. Amen. (2 Peter 3:18)


Mom, what do you think about a 7th child????

Too Wonderful for Words

Psalm 40:5
You have multiplied, O LORD my God, your wondrous deeds and your thoughts toward us;
none can compare with you! I will proclaim and tell of them, yet they are more than can be told.

One of my favorite things about reading through Psalms is the way it seems like the psalmists are peeking into my own heart and transforming what I never would have been able to articulate in just plain old words into beautiful poetry. My heart gets so excited. . . "I'm not the only one that has felt like this? It is said so perfectly -- and I didn't know how to verbally explain it, but that is exactly what I am feeling! Amen and amen!"

I came to this particular portion of Psalm 40 today, and my heart became really excited as I resonated with David! Verse 5 struck the chord. . .

During these last few weeks, especially, God's goodness has been driving me crazy! And when I say that, I mean it in a good way. Every morning at school I have homeroom with my 8th graders. . . and every morning I try to share with them just how good and wonderful and glorious is the LORD. I want them to see just how beautiful He is, that they may treasure Him!

But it doesn't matter how hard I try. . . Anything I say, more could always be said. It would really be quite frustrating if it were not so wonderful!

Today I had an opportunity to speak to the women in Maria's village -- same thing! How oh how can I proclaim how wonderful my Savior is when there is more than can be told?

And that's why I love how David states it. In the same way my heart says: "O LORD my God, I will proclaim and tell of your wondrous deeds! I will proclaim and tell of your thoughts toward me! But, they are more than can be told because there is nothing in the world that even compares with you."

And so, it's really wonderful.
Wonderful because that's my God. His goodness can never be exhausted. . .
He is, literally, too wonderful for words.

Maria's Village

Psalm 1:1-2
Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers; but his delight is in the law of the LORD, and on his law he meditates day and night.



Today was one of the most unforgettable, humbling experiences of my life.

Remember Maria?

God blessed me with the opportunity to take Bibles into her village!!!

I love how He chooses to use us though He doesn't need us. . .

It makes me feel like the little kid making a mess in the kitchen who wants to help with the cooking so badly! "Oh, please will you let me have a part in this?"


My housemate dropped me off at the side of the paved road closest to Maria's village. Maria and I walked together to her part of the village. She insisted on carrying all of the Bibles herself all the way, and in the way most Malawians carry things -- on top of the head!




On our walk over, Maria told me that the people were waiting for me! When we arrived, they all began singing! I couldn't understand what they were saying, but Maria told me they were welcoming me and rejoicing:







Maria's husband had everyone sit down. He said that they were all so grateful to have a copy of the Bible! Then, the pastor of Maria's church led us in prayer.





Afterwards they asked me to please say something to them. . . and so I did! And I got to remind them of how precious and powerful the Word of God is.


Maria's husband called everyone up individually, and asked me to hand the Bibles out one-by-one.



This is a picture of Maria and the pastor:



And some pictures of those who received the Bibles:








And here's a video clip of them dancing and singing with their new Bibles. Maria told me they were singing that they once didn't have a Bible, but now they do!

Would you please pray that these people will feed upon the Word of God and grow closer and closer to Him?

And may we also be so joyous that God has indeed given us His Word!

To My Knees

Jesus says:
"Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!"
Matthew 7:7-11


Thank you, Mr. Watt, for blessing me with your music once again!
This song has been such an encouragement for me to get on my knees.
May it encourage us all to pray more fervently!


TO MY KNEES
by John Watt

I am but a blade of grass that's blowing in the breeze,
In the sun I'm growing fast but in the dark I freeze;
The sun shines on my time alone spent praying to my Lord,
But darkness reigns when I'm off somewhere to seek my own reward.


CHORUS:
Lord, I am the strongest when my own strength fades away,
I know I see the clearest when I close my eyes to pray,
And Father, I am the tallest when You bring me to my knees,
So bring me to my knees, Lord, today
Bring me to my knees, Lord, to pray.


Often I am overcome with burdens and with fears,
Heaven seems so far away, and I wonder if God hears,
Then I hear a still, small voice that calls me from within,
That says, "I'll never leave you, nor forsake you, even to the end".

Thoughts On the Word of Life, Death, and Putting All Into His Hand

Every day after school a woman named Maria comes into my classroom to clean. I've really enjoyed getting to know her. Usually I'm grading or closing up the classroom -- and so while we are both doing our jobs, we get to chat for a bit.

The first day we met I had asked Maria about her village. She was telling me about the church in her village. I had asked her specifically about the Bible situation. She told me there were just a few Bibles circulating through the village. She said she was very blessed to have her own, but most of the people had to take turns with them, and not all of the people even knew how to read.

My heart sank. . . The way that Christianity has been spreading through the villages is very encouraging in some ways -- but in other ways it is very discouraging. Many of the villages have combined aspects of the traditional Chewa religion with parts of Christianity. So some of the villages that claim to be Christian are still involved with witchcraft and superstition, not understanding the true essence of the gospel of Jesus Christ. So, when I hear stories about not enough Bibles going around, it makes me feel sick. . . How are people to get understanding unless they are continually being fed by the Word?

I had told her several weeks ago that I wanted to get my hands on some Bibles for the village. Since then we hadn't really run into each other, and Christmas break came up. It had been a while since we'd talked. Yesterday she was heating water in the teacher lounge, and we started talking about the Bibles again. She lit up when I asked her if she'd be willing to go get them with me sometime next week. . . and then told me something that I'm still having a hard time swallowing.

Maria told me that she had mentioned to one of her friends at the village the possibility of more Bibles coming. She said that her friend had just passed away, but she had been really excited. Maria knew she would have been happy to have seen the Bibles! I hadn't even thought of a death occuring in the time period it would take me to find the Bibles. The only thing that brings me comfort is that as her friend waited for the Word of God she was granted her hope in the fullest sense in that she gets to meet face-to-face with the Jesus, the Word of God.

Life is so short. . . Back in December the chief of the village (where we work with the children) passed away. A couple of weeks after that, one of my students wept and wept on my shoulders because her cousin had died from a type of flu that couldn't be treated. After break, another one of my students asked me to pray because her 2-yr-old cousin had died on Christmas Day. Maria's friend, walking on the side of the road and getting hit by an oncoming vehicle. . . Pictures of Haiti's quake and Ethiopian Airlines plane crash flash on my computer screen.

Conviction. He tells me my life is but a vapor! What am I doing with every moment of my time. . . that time which is a gift from Him meant to be spent for Him? What am I holding on to? Am I living first and foremost for Christ, seeking to glorify Him and honor Him in everything during every second? Am I seeing people as dying people and loving them like dying people? Christ snatched me out of the fires of hell. . . So I have to ask myself if knowing this is not even enough to make me love Him so much more and tell everyone that I encounter that they too can be snatched out and saved?

I stumbled upon some more Spurgeon, reminding me to resign all to Christ:

"...Let us learn to set loose by our dearest friends that we have on earth. Let us love them—love them we may, love them we should—but let us always learn to love them as dying things. Oh, build not your nest on any of these trees for they are all marked for the axe. 'Set not your affections on things on earth,' for the things of earth must leave you and then what will you do when your joy is emptied and the golden bowl which held your mirth shall be dashed to pieces?
Love first and foremost Christ. And when you love others, still love them not as though they were immortal. Love not clay as though it were undying—love not dust as though it were eternal. So hold your friend that you shall not wonder when he vanishes from you. So view the partakers of your life that you will not be amazed when they glide into the land of spirits. See you the disease of mortality on every cheek and write not Eternal upon the creature of an hour.
Take care that you put all your dear ones into God’s hand. You have put your soul there, put them there. You can trust Him for temporals for yourself, trust your jewels with Him. Feel that they are not your own, but that they are God’s loans to you—loans which may be recalled at any moment—precious benisons of Heaven of which you are but a tenant at will. Your possessions are never so safe as when you are willing to resign them and you are never so rich as when you put all you have into the hand of God."

Fight for us and with us, O God, that we may love Christ first and foremost and put all we have into Your hand! The fight sometimes seems so hard but You are our strength, the One fighting for us!

The LORD will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.
Exodus 14:14

The LORD is my strength and my song, and he has become my salvation;
this is my God, and I will praise him,
my father's God, and I will exalt him.
The LORD is a man of war;
the LORD is his name.
Exodus 15:2-3

The second semester is in full swing at the academy! It already seems so different than last semester.

*I now have one semester of teaching under my belt, and I am clued in on some mistakes that, by God's grace, I am not going to make again.
*Some of the students moved away at the end of last semester, but God brought us some more.
*I'm involved in more afternoon activities which is a blessing as there are more opportunities to get to know the kids on a different and more personal level.

I have finished grading the day's assignments, and I am enjoying a quiet evening at home.
All I can hear is the sound of the rain. . . and I love it.
Just last night I was thinking about this passage in Isaiah 27:2-3:
"A pleasant vineyard, sing of it!
I, the LORD, am its keeper;
every moment I water it. . . "

I guess, as I hear the rain I'm not only reminded of God watering the earth, but I am also thinking about something I read recently by Spurgeon in a sermon on the passage I mentioned above:

"He chose us. He bought us. He delights in us. He put His very Glory in pawn concerning us and we may, therefore, be sure beyond all doubt that he will water us to the end. Does He water us every moment? Then let His praise continually be in our mouths. Does He thus care for us? Let us, then, watch for the advance of His cause, the extension of His kingdom, the good of His people. He who is thus watered should water others! If the Lord puts within us a well of Living Water through His Divine watering, then let us give forth to others rivers of Living Water! Yet let not this be our first thought, but rather let us go away crying, 'Lord, make my soul as a watered garden! Saturate my fleece! Fill my vessel to the brim and keep it full forever! Fulfill this Word unto Your servant, upon which You have caused me to hope, and water me every moment, even me.'"

Chanting from the nearest mosque now echoes amidst the noise of the rain. . . and how this makes me more fervently pray that as God so graciously waters my soul, I would "give forth to others rivers of Living Water" -- rivers of Jesus. May all those who don't know Him, know Him -- the All-Satisfying Living Water, the Friend of Tax Collectors and Sinners, the Savior of the World. . .

On this note, please pray for my students, that the Holy Spirit would work mightily in their hearts and turn their eyes to Jesus.
Continue to pray for the village, as well, that God would continue watering the souls of my friends there. Because of the heavy rains we haven't been able to drive the car through the dirt roads for a few weeks. Pray that we would be able to access the village for Bible lessons with the children, soon!
Pray for the college students at ABC, that God would place within their hearts a burden to go into the villages and penetrate them with the true gospel of Jesus Christ. For "whoever drinks of the water that [He] will give him will never be thirsty forever. The water that [He] will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life." (John 4:14)
Pray that God would water us every moment, even us. . .
Pray that the glory of God will be made known more and more throughout the earth!