Humbling Blessings

I'm glad God is unimaginably more faithful to me than I have ever been with this blog. ;)

It was decided that this year the academy would actually have a mid-term break or "holiday" and it would fall into this past week since we would have Friday (Malawi Mother's Day) off anyway. In one way, Mother's Day is a bigger deal here in Lilongwe than it is in the States. It is actually observed as a public holiday -- no school, and nearly everything is closed! In another way, since I left my amazing mom halfway across the world, it hardly feels right to be observing it without her! (Ndimakukonda kwambiri, Amayi!)

I have been so grateful for these last several days as they have provided for me a time of ample rest and reflection upon all that has happened since I returned to Malawi nearly two months ago.

This year my homeroom class, the 7th graders, consists of all girls! We kicked off the year with a sleepover at my house. We found ourselves enjoying some crazy bonding time with each other as well as some outlandish decibel levels as one can most definitely imagine with a group of ten middle school girls on a full tank of sugar.

My favorite part about teaching has definitely been the joy in forming relationships with the students and being able to share Christ's love with them day-to-day. Each morning during Homeroom Period, I have the privilege of praying with and for them and sharing from God's Word. Sometimes I get so discouraged by their apathy because I know if they would be doing anything else (besides math) they wouldn't lack so much attentiveness. A few weeks ago I had decided to take my girls through some of Amy Carmichael's "If" statements. What a blessing these have been as God has used them to produce some responsiveness and bring up some great discussions about the extent of our own selfishness and sinful desires contrasted with the perfections and righteousness as shown through the perfect work of Christ -- how we need him!
As my eyes were skimming through several of the "If" statements one day, I was quite convicted and humbled by the following:
"If I have not the patience of my Saviour with souls who grow slowly; if I know little of travail (a sharp and painful thing) till Christ be fully formed in them, then I know nothing of Calvary love."
Not only has He been patient with my own slow-growing soul, but He has caused it to grow at all. I guess that leaves me with no excuse not to be patient with the souls around me.
Humbling.

We've been blessed to be able to continue our outreach to the children in the village on Saturdays! A few weeks ago I read to them the humbling account of when Jesus washed the disciples' feet -- an amazing demonstration of his humility, and a beautiful preview of him bearing all our uncleanness on the Cross. I wanted to reinforce the concept and I had remembered my mom washing the feet of my Sunday School class years ago. . . If I still remember, then it seems like a good idea! So Khuzwayo and Chisomo (two of the African Bible College students), Whitney (housemate) and I did just this. We washed all of the feet of the kids in the village and encouraged them to wash the feet of their parents. I'll be honest -- it was one of those really humbling moments for me. Village mud and calloused feet don't faze me. But the thing was, the kids were pushing each other and shoving, fighting over who got to be next. In other words, there were no Peter-type characters in this story. We were having the opposite thing going. "Well, that was one fruitful lesson," I sarcastically think to myself. "I can tell they really understand Christ's demonstration of humility." Yet in the midst of this experience God was teaching me how much more I need to be washed. . . I learned so much of Jesus' humility through the lack of my own . And then I remembered that Jesus even washed the feet of Judas. This was getting pretty intense. I always find it a little bit irritating how as a teacher it seems like I learn so much more than the students in the process of trying to help them learn. But it's one of those humbling blessings.

Another blessing . . . hosting a Monday night small group at our house! The group consists of about twelve members from one of the local churches pastored by an ABC graduate. A couple weeks ago we were talking about how we as the body of Christ can come alongside those who are struggling with various things. Then one of the women broke down and told us that her sister was dying of stage-3 cancer, and she was understandably having a very hard time with it. We decided, as a group, to go visit the sister in the hospital and pray with her. By this time, I should have known that whenever I think I'm going to "bless" someone God quickly humbles me.

Well, I had never been to the city hospital in Lilongwe. . . I honestly thought I was going to vomit when I walked inside. I guess I'm used to hospitals trying to make things comfortable for those who are suffering physically. The bad smell wasn't like the "bad smell" of chemicals in a hospital in the States. . . I'm not sure I want to know what it was. The dirty mattresses didn't have sheets, and there were so many flies. And our friend's sister was laying there, dying, in conditions like this. I didn't even feel like laying in my own comfortable bed that night. I find myself silently praying again and again, "God, do something for her!" I don't know where she is at spiritually. . . who does except for God. . . but oh, if I knew she were one of His little lambs I would have wanted Him to have just relieved her from all of it right then and there.
And I couldn't take it any longer. Here I was going to "bless" this suffering woman and I end up standing by her bed sobbing uncontrollably while her family assures me not to worry. Humbling. Shandell, small group attendee, reminds me "He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning nor crying nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away." And I long for the salvation of souls. And I just long for Jesus. And I try to remember that He is even more broken over all of this stuff than I am.

So, I guess the common theme through pretty much everything I've written can be thought of as the following:
Katie: Lord, I want to serve you.
God: Katie, I'm going to humble you first.
Katie: Lord, I really want to serve you!
God: Katie, you really need to be humbled.
Katie: Lord, I really, really want to serve you!
God: Katie you really, really need to be humbled.
Katie: Lord, then I need a lot of grace!
God: Yes, Katie, but you have all the grace you need. My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in all your weaknesses.

"Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses so that the power of Christ may rest upon me." 2 Corinthians 12:9



On a lighter note, the chop-chop didn't attack me last night! :)

I kind of feel bad for killing it though.