Hungry to Grow

Like newborn infants, long for the pure spiritual milk, that by it you may grow up to salvation -- if indeed you have tasted that the Lord is good.
I Peter 2:2-3

School is out for two weeks for Easter Break!

Last week we were given extended homeroom periods to help the students understand why we celebrate Easter. I really enjoyed spending time contemplating and discussing the significance of the gospel with them. They asked such great questions!

Easter gets more meaningful every year as Christ just keeps getting more and more beautiful. But, then again. . .is Christ really getting more beautiful? He has always been that beautiful, and will always be that beautiful -- the type of beautiful that I can't really wrap my mind around. He has always perfectly been about the Father's will, perfectly radiated His glory, perfectly shown unfathomable love to poor, broken, miserable, undeserving sinners. . .
So, it must be my marred understanding of him that is changing as God, in His mercy, grows me and opens my eyes to behold more and more of Jesus. And the more I see, the more I want and need this beautiful Jesus! And the more I want and see my need to grow!

I was really reminded of growth today.

It had been a while since I'd spent time at the Crisis Nursery. I have been thinking of Teresa a lot lately. She was the first baby I held there -- and I will never forget her. She was so tiny, and her eyes so full of fear. It broke my heart. Today I was excited to see the babies. . . but especially little Teresa!


When I walked inside, I didn't see her in the main play area. So, I ran to the room where she usually sleeps. I still didn't see her! I panicked, and ran up to one of the workers, asking if Teresa was still there! She laughed, and said, "Yes, she's in the big room."

I went back to the main play area, and I couldn't believe it! I had definitely seen her earlier, but I had not recognized her because she had grown so much!

And though this is physical growth, it was a beautiful picture of God's mercy and grace in growing his children spiritually. So I praised Him for little Teresa's physical growth and prayed for her spiritual growth! And then prayed that He would grow me more and more in the grace and knowledge of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ! To him be the glory both now and to the day of eternity. Amen. (2 Peter 3:18)


Mom, what do you think about a 7th child????

Too Wonderful for Words

Psalm 40:5
You have multiplied, O LORD my God, your wondrous deeds and your thoughts toward us;
none can compare with you! I will proclaim and tell of them, yet they are more than can be told.

One of my favorite things about reading through Psalms is the way it seems like the psalmists are peeking into my own heart and transforming what I never would have been able to articulate in just plain old words into beautiful poetry. My heart gets so excited. . . "I'm not the only one that has felt like this? It is said so perfectly -- and I didn't know how to verbally explain it, but that is exactly what I am feeling! Amen and amen!"

I came to this particular portion of Psalm 40 today, and my heart became really excited as I resonated with David! Verse 5 struck the chord. . .

During these last few weeks, especially, God's goodness has been driving me crazy! And when I say that, I mean it in a good way. Every morning at school I have homeroom with my 8th graders. . . and every morning I try to share with them just how good and wonderful and glorious is the LORD. I want them to see just how beautiful He is, that they may treasure Him!

But it doesn't matter how hard I try. . . Anything I say, more could always be said. It would really be quite frustrating if it were not so wonderful!

Today I had an opportunity to speak to the women in Maria's village -- same thing! How oh how can I proclaim how wonderful my Savior is when there is more than can be told?

And that's why I love how David states it. In the same way my heart says: "O LORD my God, I will proclaim and tell of your wondrous deeds! I will proclaim and tell of your thoughts toward me! But, they are more than can be told because there is nothing in the world that even compares with you."

And so, it's really wonderful.
Wonderful because that's my God. His goodness can never be exhausted. . .
He is, literally, too wonderful for words.

Maria's Village

Psalm 1:1-2
Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers; but his delight is in the law of the LORD, and on his law he meditates day and night.



Today was one of the most unforgettable, humbling experiences of my life.

Remember Maria?

God blessed me with the opportunity to take Bibles into her village!!!

I love how He chooses to use us though He doesn't need us. . .

It makes me feel like the little kid making a mess in the kitchen who wants to help with the cooking so badly! "Oh, please will you let me have a part in this?"


My housemate dropped me off at the side of the paved road closest to Maria's village. Maria and I walked together to her part of the village. She insisted on carrying all of the Bibles herself all the way, and in the way most Malawians carry things -- on top of the head!




On our walk over, Maria told me that the people were waiting for me! When we arrived, they all began singing! I couldn't understand what they were saying, but Maria told me they were welcoming me and rejoicing:







Maria's husband had everyone sit down. He said that they were all so grateful to have a copy of the Bible! Then, the pastor of Maria's church led us in prayer.





Afterwards they asked me to please say something to them. . . and so I did! And I got to remind them of how precious and powerful the Word of God is.


Maria's husband called everyone up individually, and asked me to hand the Bibles out one-by-one.



This is a picture of Maria and the pastor:



And some pictures of those who received the Bibles:








And here's a video clip of them dancing and singing with their new Bibles. Maria told me they were singing that they once didn't have a Bible, but now they do!

Would you please pray that these people will feed upon the Word of God and grow closer and closer to Him?

And may we also be so joyous that God has indeed given us His Word!

To My Knees

Jesus says:
"Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!"
Matthew 7:7-11


Thank you, Mr. Watt, for blessing me with your music once again!
This song has been such an encouragement for me to get on my knees.
May it encourage us all to pray more fervently!


TO MY KNEES
by John Watt

I am but a blade of grass that's blowing in the breeze,
In the sun I'm growing fast but in the dark I freeze;
The sun shines on my time alone spent praying to my Lord,
But darkness reigns when I'm off somewhere to seek my own reward.


CHORUS:
Lord, I am the strongest when my own strength fades away,
I know I see the clearest when I close my eyes to pray,
And Father, I am the tallest when You bring me to my knees,
So bring me to my knees, Lord, today
Bring me to my knees, Lord, to pray.


Often I am overcome with burdens and with fears,
Heaven seems so far away, and I wonder if God hears,
Then I hear a still, small voice that calls me from within,
That says, "I'll never leave you, nor forsake you, even to the end".

Thoughts On the Word of Life, Death, and Putting All Into His Hand

Every day after school a woman named Maria comes into my classroom to clean. I've really enjoyed getting to know her. Usually I'm grading or closing up the classroom -- and so while we are both doing our jobs, we get to chat for a bit.

The first day we met I had asked Maria about her village. She was telling me about the church in her village. I had asked her specifically about the Bible situation. She told me there were just a few Bibles circulating through the village. She said she was very blessed to have her own, but most of the people had to take turns with them, and not all of the people even knew how to read.

My heart sank. . . The way that Christianity has been spreading through the villages is very encouraging in some ways -- but in other ways it is very discouraging. Many of the villages have combined aspects of the traditional Chewa religion with parts of Christianity. So some of the villages that claim to be Christian are still involved with witchcraft and superstition, not understanding the true essence of the gospel of Jesus Christ. So, when I hear stories about not enough Bibles going around, it makes me feel sick. . . How are people to get understanding unless they are continually being fed by the Word?

I had told her several weeks ago that I wanted to get my hands on some Bibles for the village. Since then we hadn't really run into each other, and Christmas break came up. It had been a while since we'd talked. Yesterday she was heating water in the teacher lounge, and we started talking about the Bibles again. She lit up when I asked her if she'd be willing to go get them with me sometime next week. . . and then told me something that I'm still having a hard time swallowing.

Maria told me that she had mentioned to one of her friends at the village the possibility of more Bibles coming. She said that her friend had just passed away, but she had been really excited. Maria knew she would have been happy to have seen the Bibles! I hadn't even thought of a death occuring in the time period it would take me to find the Bibles. The only thing that brings me comfort is that as her friend waited for the Word of God she was granted her hope in the fullest sense in that she gets to meet face-to-face with the Jesus, the Word of God.

Life is so short. . . Back in December the chief of the village (where we work with the children) passed away. A couple of weeks after that, one of my students wept and wept on my shoulders because her cousin had died from a type of flu that couldn't be treated. After break, another one of my students asked me to pray because her 2-yr-old cousin had died on Christmas Day. Maria's friend, walking on the side of the road and getting hit by an oncoming vehicle. . . Pictures of Haiti's quake and Ethiopian Airlines plane crash flash on my computer screen.

Conviction. He tells me my life is but a vapor! What am I doing with every moment of my time. . . that time which is a gift from Him meant to be spent for Him? What am I holding on to? Am I living first and foremost for Christ, seeking to glorify Him and honor Him in everything during every second? Am I seeing people as dying people and loving them like dying people? Christ snatched me out of the fires of hell. . . So I have to ask myself if knowing this is not even enough to make me love Him so much more and tell everyone that I encounter that they too can be snatched out and saved?

I stumbled upon some more Spurgeon, reminding me to resign all to Christ:

"...Let us learn to set loose by our dearest friends that we have on earth. Let us love them—love them we may, love them we should—but let us always learn to love them as dying things. Oh, build not your nest on any of these trees for they are all marked for the axe. 'Set not your affections on things on earth,' for the things of earth must leave you and then what will you do when your joy is emptied and the golden bowl which held your mirth shall be dashed to pieces?
Love first and foremost Christ. And when you love others, still love them not as though they were immortal. Love not clay as though it were undying—love not dust as though it were eternal. So hold your friend that you shall not wonder when he vanishes from you. So view the partakers of your life that you will not be amazed when they glide into the land of spirits. See you the disease of mortality on every cheek and write not Eternal upon the creature of an hour.
Take care that you put all your dear ones into God’s hand. You have put your soul there, put them there. You can trust Him for temporals for yourself, trust your jewels with Him. Feel that they are not your own, but that they are God’s loans to you—loans which may be recalled at any moment—precious benisons of Heaven of which you are but a tenant at will. Your possessions are never so safe as when you are willing to resign them and you are never so rich as when you put all you have into the hand of God."

Fight for us and with us, O God, that we may love Christ first and foremost and put all we have into Your hand! The fight sometimes seems so hard but You are our strength, the One fighting for us!

The LORD will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.
Exodus 14:14

The LORD is my strength and my song, and he has become my salvation;
this is my God, and I will praise him,
my father's God, and I will exalt him.
The LORD is a man of war;
the LORD is his name.
Exodus 15:2-3

The second semester is in full swing at the academy! It already seems so different than last semester.

*I now have one semester of teaching under my belt, and I am clued in on some mistakes that, by God's grace, I am not going to make again.
*Some of the students moved away at the end of last semester, but God brought us some more.
*I'm involved in more afternoon activities which is a blessing as there are more opportunities to get to know the kids on a different and more personal level.

I have finished grading the day's assignments, and I am enjoying a quiet evening at home.
All I can hear is the sound of the rain. . . and I love it.
Just last night I was thinking about this passage in Isaiah 27:2-3:
"A pleasant vineyard, sing of it!
I, the LORD, am its keeper;
every moment I water it. . . "

I guess, as I hear the rain I'm not only reminded of God watering the earth, but I am also thinking about something I read recently by Spurgeon in a sermon on the passage I mentioned above:

"He chose us. He bought us. He delights in us. He put His very Glory in pawn concerning us and we may, therefore, be sure beyond all doubt that he will water us to the end. Does He water us every moment? Then let His praise continually be in our mouths. Does He thus care for us? Let us, then, watch for the advance of His cause, the extension of His kingdom, the good of His people. He who is thus watered should water others! If the Lord puts within us a well of Living Water through His Divine watering, then let us give forth to others rivers of Living Water! Yet let not this be our first thought, but rather let us go away crying, 'Lord, make my soul as a watered garden! Saturate my fleece! Fill my vessel to the brim and keep it full forever! Fulfill this Word unto Your servant, upon which You have caused me to hope, and water me every moment, even me.'"

Chanting from the nearest mosque now echoes amidst the noise of the rain. . . and how this makes me more fervently pray that as God so graciously waters my soul, I would "give forth to others rivers of Living Water" -- rivers of Jesus. May all those who don't know Him, know Him -- the All-Satisfying Living Water, the Friend of Tax Collectors and Sinners, the Savior of the World. . .

On this note, please pray for my students, that the Holy Spirit would work mightily in their hearts and turn their eyes to Jesus.
Continue to pray for the village, as well, that God would continue watering the souls of my friends there. Because of the heavy rains we haven't been able to drive the car through the dirt roads for a few weeks. Pray that we would be able to access the village for Bible lessons with the children, soon!
Pray for the college students at ABC, that God would place within their hearts a burden to go into the villages and penetrate them with the true gospel of Jesus Christ. For "whoever drinks of the water that [He] will give him will never be thirsty forever. The water that [He] will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life." (John 4:14)
Pray that God would water us every moment, even us. . .
Pray that the glory of God will be made known more and more throughout the earth!

My Citizenship is in Heaven

But our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, who will transform our lowly body to be like his glorious body, by the power that enables him even to subject all things to himself.
Philippians 3:20-21

If there were one thing I could change on my passport it actually wouldn't be the photo, even though I wish I would have been allowed to smile. :)
I wish it would say somewhere -- and preferably in large, bold letters -- that Katie Dinwiddie is a citizen of Heaven. Anywhere else I am a stranger.

Malawi has been a good reminder that I am indeed a stranger.

One step into a village or market and it's just as if the circus has come to town.
The other week ago my housemate and I were driving our gardener to his hut. When we arrived to his village, a ton of children surrounded our car all saying, "Azungu, azungu, azungu!" (Translation: White people, white people, white people!) They followed us all the way to the hut, repeating this again and again. At some point I decided to have a little fun, and when another "Azungu" came out of their mouths I jerked around, laughed, pointed at myself, and said "Mzungu" (singular form). They laughed and laughed. I'm not sure if it's because they weren't expecting it, or if it's because I sounded funny when I said something in Chichewa. . . or, maybe they were laughing at me for the same reason my "Malawian mother" was -- and I never found out why.

Some of the kids asked one of my friends here if they could see her belly, thinking that since "Azungu" are so pale, they would be able to see our intestines through our skin. :)

And then there was the day I pulled into the petrol station and handed the worker kwacha (Malawi currency) to fill the car and he looks at me like I'm crazy -- "We're out of petrol. I can't fill your car." I guess petrol shortages sometimes happen here? I didn't know. . . and I still don't understand why there are so many different reasons people give when I ask why there is no petrol! Did the president really use it all to fuel his private jet like the newspapers said, or is there a more believable explanation?

And then there was the time while I was teaching math that I discovered that California's thunder is indeed fake. As real thunder cracked the African sky I was a stranger to that, too. My students laughed and laughed at the look on my face while I tried to process what I was hearing: "Miss Dinwiddie, we're not getting attacked. You must be one of those teachers from San Diego. This is just thunder." It was. . . and it was a great opportunity to talk about how even if we were under attack we still would have hope in Jesus, our Righteousness!

Oh, I have more -- you'd better believe it. . . but I think you get the picture.

I'm a stranger. And, since school is out for holidays and I have had a lot of time to spend thinking about it, I've felt a wave of homesickness.

But this is a good wake-up call! These are feelings that should be familiar to me living on earth as a citizen of heaven. People not understanding me and laughing at me -- not necessarily because of culture, but rather because God hasn't chosen yet to shine in their hearts to give the light of the knowledge of His glory in the face of Jesus Christ (2 Cor 4:6) -- so yes, I do seem foolish to them. My lack of understanding -- not necessarily in cultural matters, but spiritual things: now I see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known (1 Cor 13:12). Homesickness -- longing to be with my Heavenly Father in the new Jerusalem. . . .

And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning nor crying nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away." (Revelation 21:2-4)

Lord, because of Jesus I'm a citizen of heaven, so help me to seek the things that are above, where he is. Help me to set my mind on things that are above, and not on things that are on earth. (Colossians 3:1-2)